Fear

Fear is one of the biggest tools an abuser uses against his victims to control and silence them. They threaten to harm them or the ones they love. They tell them no one will believe them or everyone will turn against them. The tell them that if they say anything, they will hurt their mom or their family. What a huge burden to place on a precious child! A child that should be carefree, safe, and loved. As parents, we want our children to feel safe and protected. When your child is afraid of monsters in their closet, you do everything to show them they are safe. So can you imagine what kind of monster can use fear against them in order to keep their sick secrets from coming to light?

So, as time goes on, the victims continue to live in fear. Long after the abuse has ended. Fear of rejection, fear of confrontation, fear of letting someone too close, fear of being judged. And I could go on and on. They shut the world out, and trust no one, not even themselves. How can someone free themselves? Especially when fear is all they have ever known. They are using it to protect themselves without realizing how much they are actually destroying themselves.

If you are living in fear, try to understand that this is what your abuser wants. Because as long as you hold on to fear, he is still controlling you. And you will never have the peace and freedom you so desperately crave. The only way to get past the fear is to face it. You don't have to do it all at once. Just baby steps. The first step I would suggest is to let go of just a little of that mistrust to reach out to someone else that can help you. Whether it be family, friends, or a professional counselor. You need support. You need to be able to see that there are people out there that are good, loving, and supportive. And they want to help you. Let them. You owe yourself that chance to be free. And I personally believe that if you can conquer the fear, you can conquer all the other emotions that are holding you back. One at a time. Don't let your abuser win anymore. It's time to hold your head up, look him in the eye, and give him the message that you are strong, and you will not let him destroy your happiness for another minute. This is your life. You deserve to control it. Once you are able to take those steps to free yourself, the feeling of empowerment is incredible. And I know you won't want to go back.