Hidden Courage From a Timid and Scared Little Girl.

My heart raced as I rushed down the stairs to my room in the basement of my family's home. I could hear him following me. But I knew somehow that this was the day I would somehow end it all. No matter what I had to do. I couldn't live like this anymore. I had to free myself. But how? I didn't want to hurt my mom.  He always told me if I said anything to anyone it would destroy my mother. It would destroy my whole family.

I reached my room and slammed the door, locking myself in. But I knew that all anyone had to do was insert something flat between the door and the frame and it would pop open. I heard him approach...then the doorknob rattled as he tried to open it.

"Hope, let me in. I just want to talk to you." But I knew he was lying. I couldn't let him come in. The sound of keys rattling in his pocket sent a bolt of fear through me. He was going to get out his pocket knife and open the door. And there was nothing I could do. I was trapped. The tiny window just above my bed was way to small for me to fit through.

"Leave me alone or I'm going to call the police!" I tried to sound strong and determined but the shakiness in my voice gave away my fear. I eyed the phone I was allowed to keep in my room. But I knew I didn't have the courage to make the call. I squeezed myself into the corner of my room and pressed my face against the wall as hot tears streamed down my face.

"Please God, help me! I can't do this by myself!" My desperate prayer had barely left my lips when a strange feeling came over me. It was if I was floating away in a dream as something else took over. Before I knew it my hand was grasping the phone's receiver and dialing 911. I don't remember the operator answering the phone. Just a timid voice saying "Please help me. My dad's trying to molest me." And that was all it took. In the next instant I was back to my senses and answering the operator's questions. I heard my dad leave and go back up the stairs. And then there was a click from him picking up the other phone and then hanging it up. He left as soon as he realized I wasn't bluffing. His years of sick abuse and control were finally over.

Thus ended a long and horrible chapter of my life. But then began the biggest struggle of my life. One that would test my spirit and strength more than the abuse I had endured. I had it easier than most kids that come forward with their testimonies of abuse. My dad eventually turned himself in and confessed to everything. And after a year of counseling and another year of a very strong spiritual and emotional battle I was able to forgive him. Just months later he passed away from esophageal cancer. He never made it out of prison. But in the years to come I faced slander and lies from members of my dad's side of the family. Eventually, I had to leave family members in my past. Although I love them, I had to realize that they would never come to accept me. Sometimes you have to make the heartbreaking decision to walk away from those that are not healthy for you. It doesn't mean you have to hate them. It just means that you cannot have someone in your life whose ultimate goal is to tear you down. I just pray that one day they can accept the ugly truth and make peace with it so that their lives can be healed.

One thing I have learned through all of this is to find the positive in every situation. Through God's help, I was able to find courage and strength that I never knew I had. Through every difficult situation I face, I remind myself that years ago, a broken and terrified 16 year old girl had the strength to overcome her doubts and insecurities in order bring a sick predator to his knees. So, holding tight to God's hand, I can face the challenges that life throws at me. And maybe my story can help someone find the courage to face the monsters hiding in their closet. Whatever those monsters may be. And maybe those that think their situation is hopeless can see that ray of hope just within their reach. May God bless all those who read this.