Finding Life's Blessings

It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in the bad things that happen to you. Especially things that robbed you of your childhood. The hard truth is that, like a lot of tragedy and pain people endure in their lives, the pain of child abuse never truly leaves you. The memories are still there and they still haunt you. The question is, do you let it keep you down. Do you allow the pattern of abuse continue in your life, whether you are abusing yourself by doing destructive things to yourself or getting involved in abusive relationships with others? Or do you find a way to grow in spite of the pain in order to better your own life so that you can then touch the lives of others?

The most helpful thing for me was to learn to start focusing on the good things in life. While it is important to use the bad things that have happened in the past as a learning tool for us to grow, it becomes unhealthy when we allow it to consume us and take over our lives. I believe that most people don't want to dwell in their past, they just haven't been able to find that way out. And they are missing the beautiful things that life has to offer. So I thought I would take a moment to list some of the things that I cherish the most.

The most obvious is my family. I wouldn't give a single moment of my time with my husband and son away. They both bring me complete joy. Although 13 is a very challenging age, I can deal with my son's moments of smart remarks and a sour attitude because the moments where we can spend time together and talk, or just his moments of silliness make it all worthwhile. And watching him grow has been the biggest blessing God can give me. And my wonderful husband couldn't make me feel more loved. Even in those times when we can  irritate each other, I'm so grateful to be in a relationship that doesn't become verbally or physically abusive. Even when we are angry with each other, we don't tear each other down with words. And because of that, we never stay angry for very long.

There are so many other things that bring me joy. In case you haven't noticed, I love to write. I can express myself so much better when I put things down on paper. It just all comes out a jumbled mess when I talk. I love being out in nature. Even now as I type I am listening to the birds singing outside my window. I find all of God's creation breathtaking. Sometimes, I don't get out as much as I want to. But when I do, I cherish every moment. But most of all, I love to laugh. Even though my posts are serious, as this is a very serious and disturbing subject, I am someone that finds laughter to be one of the most therapeutic ways to heal. And I'm not talking about a little snicker here and there. I'm talking gut busting, cheeks hurting, can't breathe laughing. One thing that I cherish most about one of my sisters is that we have the ability to make each other laugh for hours while everyone looks at us like we are insane. Or they just join in even though they don't know what they are laughing at. As time moves on, and we become so involved in our own lives, those moments have become fewer and fewer. But I miss them terribly. And I hope she knows how much I cherish those moments.

But above all, the biggest blessing I am thankful for is my relationship with my awesome and loving God. After all, He is the one that has provided all the blessings I have listed here, and then some. It is through these blessings that He has helped to comfort me and provide strength to keep going. And although He never wants to see any of His children hurt, He has used the pain to help me grow stronger every day. And He has been there even when my faith was gone; to help pick me up when I felt I just couldn't go on. And I know that everything will be ok. Because my God is with me.